Visualizing

I cannot believe it's already December 1st! Does anyone have an explanation for why time is flying by so quickly these days? Is it because everything we do in life is done in a hurry hurry hurry mode? I know it seems like fast forward anymore myself.

My clients are always late getting me things, but I have to Hurry Up and finish it at the original agreed to time. I do meet these crazy deadlines, but it's always at a cost.

For me, the cost is that I lose out on ME time and FAMILY time. When it all adds up, it's an incredible loss because I miss workouts, relaxation, reading, and the fun I could be having with my family watching my son grow up. It also adds up physically in weight gain. My health has to do with part of it, I know that, but I also stress eat, which is horrible. If I could only figure out what I can eat continuously, all day, and not gain weight!

All that being said, this past week was not that way. I had just come off a crazy overtime schedule with work, and was able to sit and relax. Almost too much and I really was antsy because I wasn't used to it. I was supposed to get in as many exercise minutes as possible for the week with my Holiday Hoedown challenge, and unless I can track shopping from 5am until 2pm, I had a pretty low number to record this week. I did walk a 5K as part of my Winter Wonders team plans. Most of my team mates recorded theirs for a virtual Turkey Trot on Thursday, but I was traveling. I made mine up on Sunday finally. I did pretty well with eating on Thanksgiving despite unhealthy food options placed in front of me to tempt. Tasted small amounts vs eating big helpings and I think that made a world of difference. I didn't feel like the stuffed turkey at the end of the day.

I was really pleased when even though my workout minutes were low, my weight decreased again. I was down 1.6 pounds this week. YEAH!

As I have dressed for work this week, clothes are starting to feel a little less stretched to snap or fasten. It's such a good feeling!

The Holiday Hoedown challenge this week wants us to post three things I'm going to do to stay on track this month.

1. Prepping for Breakfast and Lunch.
2. Getting outside the house to workout
3. Continue to visualize a smaller ME.

Number 1 is very important. I am always running out the door to the office, and most of the time it's about 5 minutes late. It never fails that as I am leaving my son decides he is hungry and I am a sucker for getting him his breakfast. Instead of telling him to wait until his father is ready to make him food, I prep it. What that does is hold me up from leaving. (And as a mom it still is hard to leave him at the kitchen table eating solo.) If I get things together, even in my mind, the night before it makes it so much easier to just head out. It's still another late night thing for me to do, but I have always been more of a night owl than an early bird!

Number 2 will be easier to do since I got a great deal on some classes at a gym to use for a bit. It's a little more out of my way, but it's a 20 class deal, and I am going to try to get in there for 1-2 early morning classes to help me get back to a morning workout routine (long term goal!)

Number 3 is the most important. I have so many nicer clothes in my closet from just before I got married, and before my pregnancy. I have stopped shopping for lots of clothes, I buy only necessities. There are more than one item in my closet I am visualizing fitting back into. It's what helps me keep going.

I pass my wedding photos hanging on my wall and see a really different me. A ME without this extra weight that pulls down on me, and makes my clothes not fit, and say - I can get back to that ME. A ME that I was really proud of, and looked healthier.

A ME I visualize being again soon!

It's Been Too Long

I've been completely out of touch and in more ways than just the blogging kind.

I have been feeling physically out of it too. Just last week I finally got the reason why. I got my diagnosis. Not one of the bad kind, just more detailed than in the past. I was given the diagnosis that I have Hashimoto's. Yep, but I already had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism so the treatment is now to increase the meds. Hopefully that will reduce the fact that my body is now fighting itself. Well, that is how I explain it.

The results so far? The increased meds are doing the trick with the energy. Let's just hope in 6 weeks the number of antibodies goes down and things settle down. It does explain why my energy goes up and down in spurts. Apparently that is how this whole thing works. Does anyone take care of their thyroid naturally? I really think that I would prefer to increase the health of my thyroid that way. I have been trying to get more info and put a book on hold at the library that I am hoping has more information than most of what I have found so far.

This past weekend was really fun, for the most part. It was really COLD. BRReath seeing cold. Not so fun when you are camping in a tent!! Thank goodness for family and long extension cords. Yep, camping with an electric hookup saved the day. The in-laws had a small space heater and that kept the tent nice and toasty. Well, and probably encouraged the daddy long legs.

That was something my son just did not enjoy. It made for a tough night getting him to go to bed. Here how it all progressed ... as I was telling my son a story. Being the attentive kid he is, Big E saw one daddy long leg on the side of the tent. hmmm. but then I saw one more Of course I didn't tell him that. I attempted to get the one he saw but it ran (what else). Here's where the story gets interesting. While I am trying to get said spider out the door, one decided to run right over my son's sleeping bag. He screams like crazy and so I work to get it out the door. Which would be nice, but no, the story is not over cause the second one goes scampering over him just as I am attempting to settle him down, but he is in full force bloody murder at this point. I summon my DH away from the fire to help me get the second one out the door. Problem solved right? NOPE. Not at all. I get the Big E sitting down, since we all know he isn't laying down, cause he is kind of shaking all over. Well, I decide at this point to pull out the movie and see if I can get him to watch it and calm down. Over saunters spider number 3. I maneuver the small screen he is engaged in to keep his eyes on the video and not on the big spider sitting on my blanket now. I threw a pillow at him and still the thing is relentless. It's like a mini invasion going on now, cause I have spider number 4 crawl up on my right side. UM - really? So, I swat at it and tell my son that it is a mosquito. Yeah, well, that is about the point I decided that we were just not going to be able to calm the kid down and took him out by the fire to help him fall asleep. That was the only way I could see him going to sleep. There were more, but he didn't see them. THANK GOODNESS! At naptime the next day I had to have my DH sneak another one past him so he would not see it, I am certain there would be no nap otherwise!

Well, right now is the first time I have sat down and done nothing. Okay, not nothing, but nothing but kind of watch a movie, while blogging. It's a movie I have seen before. One I wouldn't exactly say I love, but one that I LOVED the showtime series it was made from. Dead Like Me. I just love how they say what they think, and how bizarre it is. It is so weird it is funny.

On that note, it is time to end this overdue post. I am going to get things back in order soon. Somehow!

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Whew what a month! It's been a whirlwind. Not quite over, but just about, and that is what matters.
I type this using my new iPhone. It's an early birthday present. Gee I hope my DH gets a job soon so we can continue to eat AND pay our bills.

Last week was so insanely busy, I never had time go sit and type in a blog post. I did weigh in but it was not a good weight. It was back up. There were foods I ate that caused the water weight to creep up. I know that, but it did more than creep, it spiked. I had one dr appt that day and according to their scale I had lost 1 pound in a bit over a year and a half. I had another dr. appt today and explained how frustrating it is. The dr. retested my thyroid and hormones and we'll see how that goes as a start. She also has me keeping track of my food for a week and she'll give me some feedback. Thing is, I went and stocked up on my apples, red pepper and snap peas. She won't see how I cut soda and coffee (loaded with chocolate and milk) from my diet. Or that I increased my workout minutes over the past months. What hopefully she will be able to help me with is what my diet has too much or too little of.

I know one thing I absolutely know I am running low on. Time. If there is some magic answer on how to be super mom, super wife, and fit in working out while also making dinner or taking time to play a bit, puhleeze fill me in. Mkay?!!
Thanks!

Hopefully the much awaited surprise party photos will get posted. I have lots go go through, and edit. I will do my best!!

Weigh In #7

It's Weigh-in Wednesday. The Shrinking Days of Summer is coming to a close soon. Today's weigh in went pretty well, down a little.


.2 to be exact. which isn't a lot when looking at numbers, but when we talk about how I am feeling and how the clothes are fitting, it is a good thing.


Now if I can keep that going. Today is going to be rather tough eating wise. I didn't have all my fresh veggies in the fridge cut up and ready to go. I haven't been grocery shopping to restock, and I really need to do it soon. I had high hopes of replenishing my stash of hummus for today's snack and making some yummy sweet potato fries. None of that happened.


Don't get me wrong. I wasn't a slacker. In my usually hectic and insane life, I ran multiple errands and as we were heading to the grocery store, it was that moment my son said "I have to go potty." Of course you do.


Rushing to make sure we didn't have any "accidents" caused me to forget to grab my list, and my coupons and then it all went to pot. I grabbed the absolute necessities to get through the night and that was that. We cruised home and it was dinner time. Thankfully my husband got home early enough to put my son to bed, and that allowed me to do my wii More Workouts. I even added in a few crunches and some chest presses and flyes.


Wrapping up my workout did not mean it was rest time for me. I am working on a surprise party and that is what consumed the rest of my evening's "free" time. When I finally looked at the clock and realized how late it was, and that my lunch was not packed, AND that there wasn't a whole lot to pack, I left it for today to worry about.


BIG MISTAKE


Today's lunchbox is not that exciting. It consists of slices of bread to make PB&J (NO it is not the natural kind, but it is the kind without High fructose corn syrup and won't cost me a fortune to purchase for my toddler who would eat it from sunrise to sunset - maybe when my husband gets a job we'll get the more expensive stuff). It does contain one apple and a container of peach sauce so my fruit is covered. Other than that, it's pretty sparse. I have been bringing two lunch containers packed full of bright colored veggies to eat. This seems so lame. Maybe I will find a few minutes today and run to the store. Without a toddler and with coupons in hand.

If I could just find a few more minutes to complete a few more tasks in this crazy life of mine, I could find a few minutes to relax too!

Taking my own advice

That is so much easier to say than to actually do.

I am speaking specifically of me relaxing. I just wrote that to a client. "Relax - we'll get it done." And I will. I will complete the job needed for them, and it will be okay. Their deadline will get met. 

The question I pose is, what will get put off to make it happen? Will it be other client work, or will it be personal things. Most likely the latter. It's what happens. I quantify putting my life on hold by saying I get paid OT for this stuff. And I will, I will get paid extra for sacrificing my life for my work. 

Is the money worth the sacrifice? Somedays it's not a big deal, but other times I see myself getting gipped of my family time, and of the sacred minutes I save for just ME. 

The reality is: I won't finish my book for this weekend's bookclub meeting. I won't find as much time for my race training and I will be more than grumpy when the job is complete and I have lost hours of special bonding time with my husband and son. Am I setting myself up to not have a close relationship with my child? I certainly hope not, because that would make helping my client and my company an even bigger sacrifice than it's worth (for money's sake). If all that was here in this world was a job that might be a different answer. 

Work is not all there is for me to live for. I know this. I know that what is there is my dear son and husband, my friends and family, And somehow I need to work towards taking my own advice and - Relax, with them! 

Beach time

It's about time - for a lot of things, but most of all it is time for the beach season to start.

Since the warm weather is coinciding so well with my "making time for me" I think it is only fair that I put on my list of things to do for me -to get to the beach at least 5 times this year. If not alone, with the family.

There. And this weekend does not count. It will make it an even half dozen!

I cannot wait. This weekend is just me, and my friend. Heading to stay with my sister and to meet up with the rest of my friends in Dewey Beach. If you know Dewey - you get it. It will be a fun weekend. Regardless of the fact that it is supposed to rain all weekend. Us girls can find things like shopping and just bonding to kill time. Better yet, my HS friend and I haven't hung out solo like this since before my son was born (and me 7 months or more pregnant). I think the ride there might end up being the best part!

If the forecast was better, I was planning on major beach time with my umbrella and book. But, that is fine, I will find time for at least a few minutes and page turning.

So, it's time to end this short post. I have a lot more to say, but no time to spend typing it all in. I will have to pick some of the more exciting thoughts to put in writing while I am relaxing over the weekend!

Dude - What's With That Butt Crack?

Picture this - a very heavy, extremely pale, teenager sitting on a cannon (the metal artillery kind) along the side of the road in front of the American flag. It's a little park that pays homage to some type of military group. 

That's right. Sitting there, pants coming down 3/4 across his behind. 

I got a serious mooning. At 3:30 in the afternoon, on a bright sun shining day. After one of the more stressful days I have had in a while. One where no one is happy with my speed of work. I can't get enough done, still have monumental amounts of work left to do, and well, that butt crack had me laughing hysterically out loud. 

Thanks young man for not wearing pants that fit you at all. I certainly hope someone else needed a good mooning as much as I did!

That got my mood changed at least until now, when I finally sat down to get back to work. As the stress is tensing up my muscles again, I reflected back to that large behind shining my way, and it made me laugh again, and that's what I plan to take with me through the rest of the night, and into the last remaining day of the weeK. 

TGIF!!!!!!! (well, it will be soon!)

For my "Me Hour" I actually got a bit more than an hour. I rushed out of work, picked up my son, dropped him at home, rushed to the chiropractor, next to a friends for a computer drop off, then to a hair appt. AHHHHH - Deep breath. Can you feel the relaxation kicking in then?! AHHHHHH savor that moment. That was my hour break. The minute I walked out of those doors i went to the organic food store for some recommended herbs. I was told they are crack for women. I hope so! (I'll share more if they help me out!) Then i rushed to Target to exchange shoes for said son, and then home. It was 8:05pm. 

Officially 3 1/2 hours to myself. 

Does it count though when you are running around like a crazed maniac trying to squeeze in every errand possible while you are alone? i don't think so, but that hour? That hour was mine, and I definitely savored it!

I have a couple of photos to share. Of course they are of my son. He looks so much older in the first shot. The freckles are starting to show and he just is to cute with that smile. The other you can see the proud look in his eyes as he looks over his newly colored easter eggs.




And now my time is officially over. 


Happy Easter everyone!

Overwhelmed

Feeling a tad behind and overwhelmed in my existence today.

Why is of course the first question that comes to mind. And my answer is:

Partly because of the insane tantrum my son threw last night at the grocery store and partly because of my inability to regain control of the situation until I forced him into the cart with a seatbelt. He sat there with both of his shoes now kicked off and at least 3 minutes of screaming terror in the aisle (just typing that gets my heart racing). I was then unable to control my emotions upon entering the door of my home. At this point, all I wanted to do was hide out in some unoccupied space in the house. The next thing I could think to do was wii box. So, i got out my wii active and did my workout, which unfortunately had no boxing, but I added in my own workout that included 400 punches and that helped - finally. But I was spent and it was now 8pm. I tossed the "ball" to my DH and he proceeded to put my son to bed for me. WHEW.

Though, that isn't all. I had to do work (not stuff for me work, but work, work). and it took me a bit to regroup and start said work. Due today work. I completed it, but that put me to bed at 11:30pm. Which in turn led to me getting to sleep sometime around midnight. Ugh.

That means, I did not get out of bed for my a.m. workout today. Double Ugh.

I'm feeling it too. The groggy, I didn't get enough sleep feeling. It's already 10:30 in the morning. I should be awake by now and it's not happening. Even with today's home brew of half hazelnut coffee, half espresso roast.

I am wondering how I am going to regain control today. What will allow me to feel less overwhelmed? Knowing I have to rush at the end of the day today starts my heart racing again> I have to make it to pick up my son, take him 30 minutes out of the way to have a bad haircut fixed before 6. I'd also like to stop by the chiropractor for an adjustment on the bad spot I ended up with while wrestling the crazed 3YO and then home to feed him and the DH, plus get in a bit of a walk/run. All that, and I will probably have work to take home again tonight.

I know I am not the only mother out there that feels this way, and would love nothing more than to commiserate with a few on the subject. But, seriously, where would I fit that into my regime?

And, now it's 8:30 at night and here I am just settling in after the crazed list above. I didn't make it to the chiro, maybe tomorrow. That's okay, cause we got the hair fixesd OH SO MUCH BETTER!!! Picked up dinner on the way home, and I fit the wii active workout in. I think "work" work is going to wait too. I just don't have it in me. I want to get up tomorrow and run. Gonna save up my energy and make it a good one!

Can you tell I am feeling a little less freaked out? Not that the list of to-do's is less, but I need a me night. A night of checking out some blogs, maybe fixing this one up to be pretty and some good sleep!

Night night!

Stolen Moment

Today it was gorgeous outside. It was a decent day, low key. There was lots of laundry to do. Major cleaning up that had to take priority and well, the mommy stuff too. When naptime hit, that is when I decided to sit and just watch a movie and I really enjoyed it.

It really was a full hour and I kind of zoned. Until my sister skyped me and broke the spell. OH, how I crave more. After that, it all went downhill. Dinner had to be made, laundry had to be finished and after arguing repeatedly with the 3 yr old, that progressed to putting E to bed. Now I am sitting here wishing I had a bit more energy. I really needed to workout today.

I am not staying on track with working out during the weekends. I'll get back on track tomorrow. And for that to happen, I need to get to bed in about 15 min! YIKES!

And the brain kicks into overdrive:

What am I going to pack for lunch tomorrow?

What else do I need to do?

Was there something I needed to work on this weekend and forgot about?

AGH!!!

It's Time

I was on the treadmill this morning and kept saying to myself, "Just. One. More. Minute." and "Okay, you can make it one more minute." It dawned on me, that time is all I worry about anymore (and yes, i get that every day of every year revolves around time).

I find myself saying time related things like:

3 minutes. That's for time out

Hurry up. (CONSTANTLY)

I need more time

Just a minute

Wait a second

Hold on

These are all negative comments and I don't like that I am relaying this sense of hurry, worry and negativity on my son.

How do I turn it around and get back to less rushing. Less negativity, and becoming happy about the time I DO have?

I decided this morning that this was a great blogging opportunity and despite that I am already overworked, rushed and overwhelmed. I am adding this to my plate.

I am setting a goal of gaining at least an hour a week back strictly for me. To read, or sleep, or walk alone. Something that requires no stress, no rush, and gives me pleasure. This goal seems like a low one to most people, but for me a single hour is hard to come by. I have attempted to get up early in the mornings this week to get on the treadmill and workout before work. That means I have to go to bed early, get up early, and I get 40 minutes to bust some calories. I am rushed, I am already starting my day, and the stress creeps in. It's not relaxing.

I want to make this am workout a habit, and maybe this becomes my 1 hour. And maybe, just maybe, that happens 4 -6 times a week (woah - I just got ahead of myself) and I am not stressed doing it any longer. But now it is a stressor because I need to train for a race.

OH, i don't start with small hurdles - this is a 10K. The race is in June, and I can't run much more than 5 min straight, let alone a 6 mile jog!

I know, I am insane.

Okay, so, I am going to try to make this blog about how I am working on becoming, healthier, happier and how this evolution takes place while being employed full time +some, a mother to a super active 3 year old, and a wife to a equally active man who wants me to have more time for him too!

Right now I will not promise daily updates, but maybe as I work towards more free time, I will be able to keep up daily?!

Feel free to post comments, suggestions, thoughts, whatever. I look forward to a new venture with TIME!